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3 Steps to Cultivate Resilience in Difficult Times by Janice Marturano

The toll of CoVid19 on our physical and mental health has led to a veritable avalanche of calls to ‘cultivate resilience’. We know we are feeling worn out and we are grasping for a ‘tool’ or ‘technique’ that will make us better able to get through the day. Of course, there are those who look for, and find,  yet another app that is supposed to help, or another color-coded priority process that claims to be the answer. But, aren’t those things just more distractions that add to an already too-long ‘to do’ list?

What if the answer is much simpler and requires no technology? What if the actual way to begin to cultivate resilience is through an act of kindness?

Let me explain.

When we are moving through our lives at warp speed, it is easy to ignore the signals from our own body and our own wisdom. The signals that tell us that something is missing, or something is wrong. Instead, we forge ahead, ignoring what is here and draining all reserves until we find ourselves so depleted that we are unable to do anything more than go through the motions of our lives. If this sounds true for you, you are not alone. Most of the professionals I work with would agree that they have many days where it feels as if they are living on autopilot.

The good news is that you can learn to listen again to those signals, and when you do, you are likely to feel a pull toward an act of kindness toward yourself. If you are ready to explore this possibility, try these 3 simple steps:

  1. Find 5-10 minutes to sit comfortably in a quiet place. Allow your eyes to close and bring your attention to the sensations in your body.
  2. What do you notice? Do you feel warm, cool, tired? Are you noticing any areas of discomfort? If your attention wanders away, bring it back. Let your body sensations take center stage. Listen.
  3. When you are ready, ask yourself this question: what act of kindness is called for today? Be patient and listen for the answer to arise from your inherent wisdom.

Now for the hard part…having the courage to act on what you learned. Perhaps you noticed a deep tiredness and the action is to learn to say ‘no’ to some requests, or to go to bed earlier.

Or, perhaps you noticed tightness in your neck or lower back and the act of kindness that arose was to let go of something in your life that is not nourishing you.

Each time you choose to practice with this reflection, you make room for looking at what drains your energy, and you take a positive action to build back the life you want to live. You can begin to bloom again!