When you consider the definition of the word ‘leader’, perhaps you think of a work title like Director or CEO. Or maybe you think of the person in your organization with the most day-to-day responsibilities, or perhaps the biggest budget. If you stop for a moment, however, and think about what really defines a leader, you might come up with a different answer. Perhaps you begin to think of leadership characteristics. For example, a leader is a good communicator, or someone with the ability to gain consensus in a group. You might include adjectives like compassionate or creative. A person with these strong characteristics may or may not be the person with the highest level title or the biggest budget but they unquestionably are a leader. They have an impact, they sway the group. So, what then, truly is at the heart of defining a leader? Very simply, a leader is someone who has an influence on others. True, impactful leadership is all about influence.
Am I a leader?
The short answer is ‘yes’. Every person, for better or worse, has an influence. Every action you choose to take and every action you choose not to take has an influence. The words you say, and the words you choose not to say, also have an influence, for better or worse. You are a leader. And your leadership, or influence, is not just at work. You are a leader in all aspects of your life. You lead your own life with your choices, you lead in your family and you lead in your community. Now, what kind of leader are you? Are you leading more often ‘for better’, or more often ‘for worse’?
The truth is that we all do both. Sometimes our influence has a positive impact, and sometimes it has a negative impact. When I am working with leaders, the ‘for worse’ part most often arises when we are feeling tired and/or stressed. We say or do things that we later regret, we don’t bring our best thinking to a situation and later find ourselves wondering ‘how could I have ever thought that was a good idea?’. Or, why did I say that? When we are suffering from fatigue and stress, our brain isn’t at its best so we aren’t at our best.
Mindful Leadership Training Changes The Status Quo
This is where mindful leadership training comes in. This training teaches us to be present in the midst of the chaos of a typical day. Rather than react to the stress and fatigue, we cultivate the ability to make conscious choices that are more often ‘for better’ and less often ‘for worse’. We learn to notice when our bodies are reacting to stress, fatigue or overwhelming obligations, and we learn to stop and give ourselves some space to return to our best selves, rather than react. We learn to respond.
Let’s explore an example. You arrive at work late because the trains were delayed, there are 3 people waiting at your office door, and you have a message from your child’s teacher that she needs to speak with you as soon as possible. A typical day, right? Add to that the fact that your yearly budget presentation is due tomorrow and you are still waiting for some numbers from accounting. Your neck muscles begin to tense, and your heart beat begins to rise. In your mind, you are beginning to write full length feature films about all the ‘horrors’ that are about to fall on you… Can you be expected to make your best choices in this scenario??? Absolutely not and yet we try to do just that.
Mindful leadership training starts by honing your ability to notice those signals from your body and treat them like flashing early warning signals. You then learn to take a pause, a Purposeful Pause, as I call it. In that Purposeful Pause, you bring your attention back to the present using your breath as an anchor, which calms things down enough to allow you to be your best self…focused, clear and compassionate…when making decisions.