“I feel like I live in a state of continuous distraction!”
“I can’t seem to focus even when I am not being distracted.”
“I must routinely reread things to get them to ‘stick’.”
“Even when I want to enjoy dinner with friends, my mind is still stuck in the office.”
Do any of these common complaints sound familiar? If so, you may be living your life in a state of continuous partial attention, never fully attending to anything or anyone. Many aspects of our life that we have now begun to accept as normal have been weakening our ability to pay attention.
For example, we now live with a phone so inter-connected with every aspect of our life that people report feeling anxious and fearful at the mere suggestion that they turn it off for a while. The cost of this constant phone distraction can range from failing to deeply connect with people (always looking at our phone, even during dinner) to lessening our cognitive abilities (the constant interruptions interfere with the flow needed for deeper thought), to interfering with our sleep (the brain is always on alert, waiting for the next ‘ping’).
How do we counter all the distractions? How do we strengthen our ability to notice when our mind is not present? How do we find the anchors to the present we need when our mind is overly active? First and foremost, it requires a willingness to make a conscious choice to be more present for your life. Then, you begin to make changes in small and powerful ways.
Here are a few suggestions to get you started in the New Year:
- Set boundaries and let others know (dinner-no phones, meetings-no phones)
- Begin a daily mindfulness meditation practice
- Make the bedroom a ‘no phone/laptop zone’
- Take Purposeful Pauses throughout the day to reset.
- Be self-compassionate
As you begin to make these conscious choices and others you will discover, what difference does it make to your ability to pay attention? To your ability to connect more deeply with yourself and others?